Because I am the MOMMY!

Guess what? There is a new rule at daycare. Potty words can only be used when you're in the potty. My little dictator has decided that it should be implemented at home, too. Should be an easy enough task if you didn't live with Farmboy- King of toilet humor. As soon as Kelly could grasp things, he taught her how to pull his finger. When she started speaking, he taught her about "barking spiders." He sings about pottying all of the time. I'll admit it. It makes me laugh, too, but don't tell him that!

You ask, "What constitutes a potty word?" Well- the obvious: poop, fart, pee pee, butt, etc... and other derivatives: doody, toot, tinkle, tushy, etc... The rule went into effect on Monday. I've broken it a million times by now. Of course, Kelly caught me everytime. I didn't realize how many times a day I've told her to move her little tushy, or asked Lora if she had "pee pee pants" instead of a wet diaper. If I wasn't the mom, I'd still be sitting in timeout (sounds kind of good doesn't it?).

Here's my question... what do you do when you get called out after you've broken a rule? I don't think I'll get away with "because I'm the mommy" forever, or can I?

I heart Chuck Bass

There is roughly 4 days until the premiere of Gossip Girl. Yes. Gossip Girl. I am an addict... love this show....love bad TV/guilty pleasure TV in general. Shoot me! What are some of your guilty pleasure tv shows?

Drool Queen

Yay! The Drool Queen has cut her first tooth! Yay! Lora we are so happy for you!

sad & crazy

Life is just crazy right now. A week and a half ago there were massive layoffs at my place of employment. Luckily, I was spared, but there were so many that weren't (a 75% reduction!). People that I love working with every day. The talented people that make me enjoy coming into work. I'm so selfish. I don't want things to change. I want this to all be a dream (i.e. Dallas)...for everyone to stay. I have been having a pity party. Feeling sorry for myself- the person with a job (told you I am selfish). I can't quite figure out the strategy behind the layoffs- who's staying and who's going. I guess that's something I'll never know.

One of the people laid off is my mentor. The person who believes in me...my personal cheering squad. She is the person that has encouraged me to be the best... to make a play for world domination. I don't think I would be as strong of a designer without her. I know she'll still be "here for me." She'll always be my friend- a big part of my life. But with her gone, I am terrified. It's like I'll be performing my tricks without a net. She pretty much gave me a huge leash. I could be as free and creative as I wanted to be. She knew she'd get "greatness" (her words not mine). Great for the ego- let me tell you. I've been working on my self confidence for years (ergo- how she became my mentor). I am so sad that she won't be there. Of course she is telling me to be excited with the idea that I am on my own. I hope I can cut it, and make her proud!

Right now, it's extremely hard to come in to work. The people who were "let go" have a few more weeks in the office. I am afraid of saying or doing something wrong while everyone is still here..afraid of offending my friends. So, I sit in my cube with my headphones on- volume turned up all the way- lights off. I 've listened to music and about 5 audiobooks (including the Twilight series- a guilty pleasure). So if you have any etiquette tips, or audio suggestions- I'd love you forever!

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Kiddos:

Exciting news- Lora is sitting up by herself! Yay! I was worried about this. She's a huge baby. HUGE! Not exactly fat- tho she does have pinchable, Michelin rolls on her legs. She's tall like Farmboy, not like me (I'm a shorty). I thought it might take her longer to do things...guess not! She is "talking" up a storm, and wriggling all over the floor- in kind of a backwards army crawl. She has been one of the bits of light in my dark days lately.

My other bit of sunshine was in a wedding. Kelly was a flowergirl, or in her mind a flowergirl princess. She was great and loved every second of it. I was worried she might not make it up the aisle (despite the offered Hello Kitty t-shirt and gummi bear bribe). She started to walk slowly towards the minister- wearing her cute little dress & holding her basket of roses...then she paused- looking around- and then grinning through her eyelashes- yes through her eyelashes*- she made her way up to the front. When it was time for her to come and sit with us- she was very disappointed. I am positive she thought she was the star of the show. She danced all night! She charmed everyone in her path. I was so proud of her. I'm always proud of her (of them).

Guess I have babbled on enough. I am sorry that my thoughts are all over the place. I am still in shock. Plus, I haven't found my "voice" yet. I have to figure out how to be better at this whole thing. Any tips? I'd really appreciate it!


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* both of my girls have enviable eyelashes---long, long, curly, black eyelashes.

$%&*@# ! MORNINGS!

Just when I think I have my shit together- something kicks me in the shin (or is it on the shin) as a little wake-up call. I shouldn't try to establish a routine...or maybe I shouldn't try to have a strict routine? I don't know.

This morning I won worst mother of the year. I forgot to set the alarm clock. I arrogantly went to bed last night without getting the "school" bags together. Thinking I'd have plenty of time in the morning- right? RIGHT! Ha- kick on the shin! I had 20 minutes to get everyone up, sunscreened, dressed and get the bags put together. I got it all done in 22 minutes. Threw them all in the van. Not bad- right?! (again a little touch of hubris).

Well, I forgot a major thing. HUGE! On the way to work I was replaying my greatness....although I saw something that I missed- Kelly was antsy and grabbing at her crotch....Oh HOLY HELL! It was then that I realized that I forgot to make her go to the bathroom. Not good for a recently potty trained 2.5 yr old. I hope she didn't have an accident...I'm waiting to hear from Farmboy, oh, and the committee for worst mother of the year.

Please Don't Stop the Music

Is it bad that all I want to do right now is hide and listen to music? By music, I mean guilty pleasure music...the stuff I'd never admit to loving. Right now, I can't stop listening to Rihanna. I am a 33 yr old mom! I drive a mini-van! I'm supposed to relive my glory days- the music of my youth (the Cure, Depeche Mode, Sonic Youth)! Yet, I cannot stop listening to bubblegum pop. What is wrong with me?! Is it a midlife crisis?

We've been talking about music quite a bit at our house lately. Kelly has found the fifties. She is obsessed with Blue Suede Shoes (Carl Perkins not Elvis). Over and over- I've got one for the money....two for the show.... etc etc. Super cute the first hundred times I heard it, but now it's sounding like a record that's got a scratch...like little nails running down a chalkboard! I've tried to introduce her to other songs: Teddy Bear, Ring of Fire, Splish, Splash---she wants nothing to do with them. I guess I should be thankful that she isn't singing the Wiggles or Barney. But- is it too much to ask for a new song?

Happier

Ok. I am a little bit happier today. Still waiting to hear job news. Life is still out of control.

Actually, I might be more numb than happy.